- December 9th, 2011
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I last wrote about Integrity, describing it as the glue like quality that keeps us stuck to our decisions and when those decisions are positive ones, they will lead us to a successful life. Worthiness, then, is the base ingredient in that glue of Integrity. Without it, there is no bonding of our will, decisions, and actions to produce success.
The wonderfulness of worthiness is one of the most awesome and effective things you can ever feel and, conversely, worthlessness one of the worst. Let’s get the worst side of it out of the way so we can then concentrate on the wonderful.
Some people take their lives because they feel so worthless and, sometimes, they are the last people you’d expect to be unhappy. Look at Kurt Cobain & Michael Jackson. Both were successful in the music business, rich & famous. You wonder, “How could they feel worthless? They had it all and must have felt proud of their achievements.” Unfortunately, their feelings of worthlessness overshadowed everything else, which ultimately resulted in their deaths — Kurt by suicide, Michael by long-term drug abuse and, finally, overdose.
I always find it so hard to believe when people with so much outward success and talent self destruct. Some don’t end their lives, but instead destroy their lives with drugs, abusive relationships, or ridiculous stupidity, that is incomprehensible to most of us. The truth is that when you’re famous and successful, the media amplifies all your faults and distributes your personal business globally and almost instantaneously. Although they do it grandly and in a well-publicized manner, celebrities are not the only people who self destruct. People from all income brackets and walks of life are not immune to self destruction. They are just more likely to go unnoticed. I believe that for celebrities and people from all walks of life, feelings of worthlessness affect all areas of their lives, especially the big three: Finances, Weight Loss/Health, & Relationships.
Why do some people feel such a sense of self-worth that they are confident enough to create fascinatingly successful businesses and wealth, like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Donald Trump? It’s not that they are any different from anyone else as far as actually being worthy. We’re all on the same ground, all created equal. It’s definitely not looks! You won’t see this bunch on the cover of GQ, unless the magazine is featuring an article about money. Hair definitely doesn’t matter; look at Donald. There are ton’s of rags to riches stories, so it’s not that you need to start with a lot of money. What you need is to have the thoughts and belief in the fact you are worthy of being successful, before you actually see the results of success.
Weight loss, being healthy and physically fit, most of us seem to have a lot of trouble with this one. The good thing is this is the one in the big three that you have complete control over, no one else involved other than your ego. Being happy with your body is a major springboard for happiness & success in all areas of life, so it’s a perfect place to start. When you feel good about the way you look, that feeling helps you with self-confidence and gives you motivation to improve other area’s of your life. The issue again… why it’s so hard for some to become fit? It all stems from a lack of worthiness. When you totally feel worthy of having the body & life you want, you will do what it takes and create it.
Love relationships, this one can be the most difficult, especially if you are lacking in the other two biggies. When you don’t have a good job or your career is not going well and you are unhappy with your body it puts extreme pressure on your relationship’s. You will tend to rely on the other to fulfill what is missing in those other area’s of your life, which doesn’t work well at all. You have to fulfill you!
Also, because you don’t feel good about yourself or have the finances to get out, you may start feeling like you’re stuck in an unhappy dead-end relationship. Then, if you add children into the mix, it makes it feel like it’s next to impossible to do anything about it. Some resign themselves to it and think, “This is the way it has to be,” suffering through it all and living unhappy lives. Others self medicate to dull the pain, which is like putting a Band-aid on a wound that never heals.
At the root of all this unhappiness, from the most extreme expression of taking your own life, to less final examples like gaining weight, staying in a bad job or marriage, or simply just settling for a mediocre existence, is a lack of worthiness. It does not matter how rich or famous you are, if you feel unworthy of the things you have, you will not be happy. The opposite is also true.
So you have to ask yourself, “If I don’t feel I am worthy of a happy life, who is worthy then?” No one is any more or less worthy than YOU! So, please, if you think you don’t deserve to be happy in all areas of life, start today by realizing that you are wrong!
The more you truly believe that you deserve to have happiness, the more happy you will be. It’s that simple! Not easy, but simple, and worth the effort required to embed that belief. You see, we create all beliefs by the thoughts we continue to think most. So to start creating the life you want, you must continually remind yourself that you are worthy of it. The more worthy you feel, the sooner you will live the results of your new beliefs.
It’s time to get selfish, the healthy kind that says, “I matter and I am going to do what it takes for me to be happy, because if I am happy, I can help all others around me do the same.” Only by being what you wish to see in others will you be able to effectively help anyone else. You attract what you are being & feeling. That emotional energy attracts people, situations & things to you, that will assist you in what you desire. If you are giving off non-worthy vibes, you will simply attract more things into your life to feel not worthy about.
Start by envisioning what you want — the body, job, career, relationship, or whatever is most important to you now. See it in your mind; experience it like you are watching a 30-second movie of which you are the star; feel what your desire actually will feel like; then put those thoughts into words and continually repeat them to yourself and soon you will be living that starring role!
If you always expect the best out of yourself and life, you will get it! You deserve to have it all. Never forget that!